Thursday, July 24, 2008


I left Hawaii because my grandma passed. I'm going home tomorrow, but today i found out that one of my classmates passed. I can't even say that i dont understand, because the fact is that when it's our time to go you will go. But he was so young. And i really think that he was misunderstood by so any people. And i know that his passing will be something that brings people closer together, and that makes others wish that maybe they hadnt said some things to him, or even that they'd said a little more. But just like with my grandma i can say that i am comletely at peace with the type of friendship that we had.
When he was alive he brought so many people together. And he made so many people laugh. And he had a way of making people feel extra special, in a weird way.
I remeber the first time i met him he told me that i reminded me of a supermodel.
It really is sad that he's gone, but every memory that i have of him makes me smile.

Rest in Peace
David "McLovin" Aldridge

june 1990 - jul 2008

Always Right Behind Me;*

So a little earlier this month my grandma passed. And all that's ben going on is so hard to deal with. I know that everyone has their time to go, so in a way i couldn't be happier because im sure that time spent in heaven is much better spent than time on earth. and im trying not to be selfish because as the oldest i have to be strong for all of the younger ones. But the fact of the matter is tht i lost one of my best friends. Anyone that knows me knows that i am, by far, closer to my aunt and my grandma than anyone i the world. And my grandma was always the one to stand up for me, or understand where i stand with things, and then if i was wrong grandma was the only one that could get me to see things the right way. And when my conversations with God were lacking, or i'd forget to fall on my knees, grandma stood in the gap. Now, dont get me wrong, my aunt has always been there too but she's more of a right hand man. And of course mommy's there for me, but sometimes she sees things strictly through a mother's eyes. Grandma was the one to tell it like it is and then tell you that she'd be praying for you.
But i thank God that he had His mercy on me and let her stay with us as long as He did. I dont know what i would have done without her with us one last time. I think that God knew that the conversations me and her had face to face meant more to me than anything. I told her things that others didnt [and still dont] know, and she did the same. And those last few converations that we had didnt really begin to mean as much as they do now until after she passed.
And she was always the one to remind me that above all else my faith would get me through. She and God were both telling me that she was going to be gone soon, but of course i didnt want to beliec believe it. i just couldnt except it. But thank God for understanding because it all makes sense now because of the wisdom He gave me through her.

Over the past eighteen years ive made so many memories with her. And even things that i dont remember mean everything to me. [like her beign the first person to hold me, even beofre my mother] But the one that stands out now is my high school graduation...that was the reason behind her lastvisit to Hawaii to see us ...

i remember how i felt just before walked out onto the football field. Nothing semed real. Then when i realized how many people were there i thought that i would never be able to find my family so i said a little prayer and asked God to show them to me, and to keep me from falling in front of all those people. Then right when i looked around the first person i saw was Grandma, and we looked at each other and she stood up and waved and told me that she loved me. I dodnt see anyone else until i got to the front of the field even after i'd spotted everyone else i rmember thinking "she's was the first person to hold me and God made sure that she was the first person to see me...thank you Jesus."

And now that she's gone i think about that and i cry. But i cry because im happy. That night things could've gone whole nother way when i walked onto that field, but God had me in His favor.
And i thank God that she didnt suffer like some do. And i thank God for taking her. And i thank Him for the memories that he gave me, and for the fact that i can't remember anything bad. And i thank Him for his mercy. And for letting me have time with someone like her.
But above all else i thank God for givig me understanding. Because my time of mourning could've been spent lost. But once again, He kept me in mind.

Rest in Peace
Bessie Murie H. Edwards

october 18, 1948 - july 12, 2008

Saturday, June 28, 2008

BooBoo & Schmoo.

One thing in life that i should definitely be used to by now is saying goodbye. Especially since now is probably the biggest time for saying goodbye of my life! But no matter how many time i have to say it, it never gets any easier. Honestly, sometimes i dont care that i wont see people anymore. I just wish them the best of luck in life and then we go our separate ways. But then there are those people who are just hard to let go...
So i met this guy named Rick this year & me and him became really good friends really fast. But he's a future Marine, too, so i knew all along that i'd have to say goodbye to him eventually.And i had this theory...If i start to separate myself from him, it wont hurt so bad when i have to say goodbye later. Wrong. And i tried it with Rick, because i know that he will be, by far, the hardest person to see go. But in the end i realized that i was just hurting myself because i wasnt spending any time with him. And i realized that it wasnt getting any easier when i'd start feeling low every time someone talked about him going off to basic.
And i feel so dumb because im crying over him leaving and i probably shouldnt be. And i know that all of the little things are gunna be what gets to me after he leaves. We have a lot of memories made and i honestly dont think that him or anyone else is going to understand how much im going to miss him. And when i think about it , i realize that he's made such a difference in my life and changed me in ways that i didnt realize needed changing. A lot happened this year and there's no one else i would have been able to spend those late nights talking to...
...or crying to once i thought things were too much to handle.
I just couldnt picture being so close to any other guy in the time that we've been friends. And i wouldnt trade the memories for anything. And there's this joke with a lot of our friends that we're going to get married one day...and although i dont think it will ever go that far i know that we'll at least be friends for life.
hhmmm...i love my schmookiddy.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

a little about me*

born lanenya-junese. nicknamed ms.newnew.lj.filmoslim.and juno booboo. but most commonly known as nene. legal as of feb. 7th, 2008. cali born & raised. lovin' life in hawaii. future member of the USMC. leilehua high school senior alumni.i love all, but trust few. i miss michelle solis more than anything in the world. unattached, but there is a special someone.i'm living proof that brunettes have more fun. i like to think that brains+beauty+boys=greatness, but two out of three isnt bad. i stopped giving a shit about a lot of things because i cared way too much in the past.judge me and i'll be sure to prove you wrong. i'm not perfect, but some parts of me are pretty awesome. being fake is a new trend i refuse to follow. i love the finer things in life but little things make me smile, too. my future is so you'll probably need some shades to stand next to me. i aint easy, i aint sleazy but if you shop with me i'll love you forever.& if you call me baby and i'll melt a little.i love being the color in a world of black and white. one day i'll live happily ever after. but for now i'm content just being happy.

Thursday, February 28, 2008


High school..the hardest part wasnt getting the grades...or making the cheer squad...or even staying invloved in all those crazy extra curricular hardest part BY FAR has been preparing for college.
And of course the work load of our senior year is ten times heavier than every other year and this, being third quarter, does not help one little bit.
Exams, projects, finding the right college, then applying to it, then waiting and hoping to get accepted, scholarships, financial aid, FASFAs...oh and then that little question that people have been asking me for the past twelve years...What in the world am i going to do when i grow up?!
And then i realize, "Oh wait..i am a grown up!" haha! Silly could i forget that little thing called an eighteenth birthday! And although i realize that although i am legally i am an adult, im still not a grown up...mommy and daddy are grown ups...i just have to have about a bazillion more responsibilities added on to my beautiful platter (that, by the way, use to be a nice silver platter that was handed to me right along with nearly whatever i its...oh i dont know...bronze?! better yet..PLASTiC!)
So i realized that even with all this stress, stress, stress the only thing that will work for me is prayer, prayer, prayer! Prayer got me through high school and God knows i'll need it to get me through college!